My spirit was fringed with joy, playing flute of felicity. The sound of swaying trees, waterdrops suspended on glistening leaves after rain, rooks cawing, me twirling in the downpour, jumping in and out of puddles- all this was so colored and distinguished in mind-I could see my spirit merrily conversing in private code, in a secret language with universe. Aww! My spirit has a habit of wandering free unencumbered and unshackled from my social self.
My social self, visible to others, remains entangled in strife, divisions, difference of opinion, prejudices, twisted into the very fiber of being. Insolvable questions keep me from indulging in pure fun but my spirit refuses to be caged within the careful me, flies away slyly on the missions, I can only look at with wistful longing. She ventures into the unseen, untrodden with chirpy youthfulness and delight that fills me with jocund joy. My spirit, a soothing tattoo, seems to whisper in my ears ‘I am guarding you, I am your support’ as monotonous fall of measures of life ceaselessly beat the drum of humdrum life.
Through the flight of my spirit, I experience unpruned, uncut raw emotions that I had learned to gloss over several years ago. My spirit hears rhythmical, half-said, half-chanted songs, thrilling adventures my soul sometimes takes, defying the storm of shots and shells of life. My spirit blossoms in elation, cringes with fear, seethes with anger, writhes with envy as I keep my cool, and endeavor to smile and maintain a poise.
Journey of life teaches many a lesson to keep under wraps the weaknesses, foibles so that nobody can take advantage of them but my spirit instinctively takes a plunge in executing naughty thrills and forbidden courses. My outer self, wedge like, remains a shield to it as it travels in timeless zone in moment’s flight, sets demons of fear on fire. I don’t grudge her rather I cherish the therapeutic effect as it soothes my unpruned emotions. Through the flash of inward eye, I indulge in joy, fear, hatred envy, revenge-marathon of myriad emotions, all in my imagination and come back light.
With my spirit, I step into a world silvery, misty looking, softly tread by bed of roses, cool hills that I visit on a hot summer day as pine scented breeze swishes through the leaves, my spirit brings back the gurgle of brooks, the rustle of leaves, as symphony of nature encircles me in the warmth of its bosom.
And sometimes my spirit just stays calm with me, focused deep within and we walk hand in hand, healing, nourishing and nurturing, communicating with each other in sheer pleasure and leisure. My spirit becomes my guide, the font of greater wisdom, the essential being, when I sit restless cocooned in my self-absorbed little corner.
I love this blissful bond with my spirit. I adore and wish to merge with her in totality to be one-carefree, naive as we were in childhood. Later years make all of us learn to live behind veils and masks. True, one should live a life of integrity and honesty but not all truths can be laid bare. Some truths may be painful or hurt others so better to share them with our spirit.
Isn’t it enough to be able to understand the difference, make peace and let the spirit flow–unbiased and unbridled.
The best thing is frequent communication with the spirit, a peep into insight because no communication with self will lead to split which may create chaos.
Soulful spirit leads wisely from chaos to connectivity and coherence. Happily, I indulge in my secret soulful flights and allow them to heal reality.
Well, life will be good, let your spirit flow free,
you can revel in indulgences satisfying and glee!
Dr Ritu Kamra Kumar