The First Time I Saw You: A Story by Vidya Gupta

Dearest Sweetheart,

From the first time I saw you, you always have had the uncanny ability to make me feel tongue-tied. You invoke so many emotions within me that I am always at a loss for words when it comes to writing to you and telling you how much I love you. No words in any language can ever do the slightest justice to the emotions I feel for you.

For me, you were born the moment there were two hearts beating within me. One mine, and the other yours, in tandem. From that day onwards, the rhythm of your heartbeat became the most melodious symphony of my life. My heart became an ardent lover of yours. I thoroughly enjoyed carrying your weight. When you felt hungry, I felt a craving for food. When you felt like stretching your tiny legs, I could feel your kicks. I knew you could hear what I said with your tiny ears, I knew you could feel my emotions with your tiny heart. You encroached on my heart in a way no one else had. You made me feel the most powerful human emotion, that of unconditional love. Then, I arrived the day when you decided that you now wanted to experience life with your own five senses and not through mine.

“Oh! you have given birth to a healthy, beautiful baby boy. ” I heard the doctor say with a half-conscious mind. I was still reeling from the aftermath of a natural birth. I had used up all my strength in bringing you into this world. Still, I could not stop the feeling of utter joy that rose in my heart. I was yearning to hold you in my arms. You were born slightly premature and hence kept in the NICU ward. I was still very weak at that time, but that did not stop me from going up to the NICU to have a peek at you. Oh, was this my beautiful baby boy? I knew at that moment that for the rest of my life, you will be always a little child for me, whom I would protect, cherish, pamper, cuddle, embrace and the list could go on.

The day I gave birth to you, you took a piece of my heart with you as you left my body. The umbilical cord was cut, but the soul-to-soul connection can never be cut. I knew the day you were born that our journey together was not going to be a smooth one or a perfect one. But one thing I knew for certain was that we shall love each other unconditionally, ignoring our imperfections, or rather, it’s our imperfections that shall make us perfect in each other’s eyes and hearts. That’s the special bond we shall always share.

I love you, my dearest one, more than anything else in the entire world.

Your loving, imperfect mother