No One Knows My Pain: A Poem by Azucena Libiran Gonzales

I tried to appear I’m fine though I know I’m not
Moving on isn’t easy; strength and courage I need a lot
Who can tell that I’m just wearing a mask?
No one feels I’m still wallowing in the past.
Myself I deem strong, but indeed I’m good at pretending
It crushes me for my real self I keep on hiding
Each night I conceal my teary eyes under my pillow
No one knows my pain; the struggles I’ve gone through
It seems I’m being pulled down by my regrets and sorrows
Painful experiences I can hardly let go that no one knows
Loneliness overwhelms me; all the feelings I’ve built up inside
Sometimes I want to say it aloud; it’s getting harder to hide.
I grasped my pen, in poetry I poured my heart out
The constant hurt, thoughts of self-hatred and doubt
My mind clouded with despair; seems so difficult to explain
Perturbed, sad and in misery yet no one knows my pain.
Realizing that I have only myself to fall back on
Unburdening others with my own distress and suppressed affliction
Mask taken off as healing starts with my real self and face
I’ve made a decision; proceed and take a leap of faith.